Did someone say goats?

Perhaps you don’t know this odd fact – but I am fascinated by goats. I’m not sure when or where the desire to share my space with these mischievous creatures began, but it’s been a desire for well over fifteen years. Of course, an unfulfilled dream. With all the travelling I do; how could I possibly add goats to my life?

Well, the stars have aligned. Kyle is also enamoured with goats, so we’ve entered into goat husbandry as a joint venture. Having chosen the type of goat we want – and there are a great many breeds to consider – we found a reputable breeder.  We cleared through brambles in a Snow-white quest to uncover the old chicken house which we found buried in dense brush but still solid and dry. We removed the coops and cobwebs then painted. Voila – a marvelous goat barn. Up to Black Creek Farm and Feed we went and came home with goat food, minerals, straw bales, bowls and a brush. We checked in with a nearby farm animal vet to confirm they could take on two new clients. Everything ready, we contacted the breeder and arranged delivery of two cute four-month-old Pygmy goats.

For the first two days they screamed for their mum. Heartbreaking, loud screams. Neighbours came to see what all the drama was about. But goats are smart little creatures and these two figured things out. Apparently, I am their new mother. Does this make me an old goat?

On the day of their arrival, I brought an old chair into their enclosure on which I planned to sit while visiting with them. But the black goat, whose name is Licorice, has decided that chair is hers. She seemed to be the shy goat at first, leaping away and refusing to be touched, but that was a ruse. She’s very friendly and enjoys untying my shoelaces and eating small holes in my hems.  She now leans in for cuddles and pushes her sister – brown goat, Ginger – out of the way.

The sisters immediately occupied themselves with the task of eating blackberry brambles, thimble berry leaves and branches and stripping two small maple trees. They accept snuggles and pets and have settled into their new life by hosting tea, beer, wine and prosecco parties with various neighbours and friends and entertaining a good number of children.

Between their entertaining duties they are busy as skilled little brush clearers. Their fondness for leaves – even prickly ones – takes precedence over the various treats I’ve offered. No thank you to strawberries and turned up noses for yellow sweet peppers. Yes, goats do turn up their noses. Perhaps they will change their minds in the winter once the leaves fall. But meantime they are chomping – browsing – their way into the dense mass of near impenetrable jungle that has spent years overtaking what was once the chicken enclosure and before that a vegetable garden. They have found two rose shrubs and eaten them and are, at this moment, dealing with kiwi vines – both in the realm of safe goat fodder. Ginger and Licorice have a particular fondness for dried kiwi leaves, seeming to enjoy the crunch. A bit like how we might enjoy potato chips.

Ginger is slightly taller than Licorice and she seems to be the leader, exploring new territory with Licorice hot on her heals. The other day I caught Ginger trying to wiggle out from under the fence while Licorice stood on her hind legs pushing the fence out, thus creating a wider space. Clever little goats.

I spent the next two hours sorting that out. The fence no longer bows out when they stand up against it. I know because they watched my repairs then tested it – every inch.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the adage that goats will eat anything and everything. This might be true, but plants such as rhodos, rhubarb, laurel, foxgloves and a host of other stuff can be lethal, especially if consumed in sufficient quantities. We’ve taken care that there are no poisonous plants within their reach.

Kyle and I – OK let’s be honest here – mostly Kyle – has built the girls a marvelous beach log gymnastics centre and a zip line. A zip line? Yes. Some edibles are too high for them to reach so they can ride the zip line into the bushes and munch on the higher leaves. Bored goats can be naughty goats – these goats have all sorts of interesting activities to keep them out of trouble – we hope.

You might be wondering what Lacy thinks of all this. Nothing good yet. She would like to get into their enclosure and kill them. I’m hoping her attitude softens with time and carefully scripted encounters. But at the moment she considers them prey. The goats show no fear of Lacy’s quivering nose pressed against their fence and they come up on the other side to press their noses against hers. Perhaps, with a bit more time, their bold attitude will convince Lacy that they are now part of our family.

When they are more settled, we will be distributing their resumé as lawn trimmers for various neighbours with pesticide/herbicide-free lawns. When they aren’t bleating, they are quieter than lawnmowers and they fertilize while they cut. An effective recycling of browsed material into tiny pellets. Environmentally sustainable, some might say.

On that note, I’m off to cut them some more grape vines – they are very fond of grape vines and are making short work of my surplus.